Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Doesn't Musk hire Security for his Tesla dealerships?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why do some people prefer watching movies than reading novels even if they are both based on the same source material (book)?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What is an appropriate response to someone saying "merci" in French?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Were the 1980s as uptight and prudish as movies and TV shows make them out to be? When I think of 80s culture, I think about a very "icky" judgmental yuppie status quo time period.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why are the people who don't support the LGBT community treated like super evil and cruel beings? People can have different opinions and thoughts on things.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

Why is Harley-Davidson dropping diversity initiatives after the right-wing anti-DEI campaign?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I actually pay taxes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

If you could instantly cancel one social norm, what would it be?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy bullshit

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Is Trump a complete idiot?

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What is it that gives a man who is a submissive cock sucker his most pleasure?

I can read

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Can you provide a list of cities named after animals and the animals they were named after?

I have a reading level above third grade

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms